I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
