Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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