I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
that's an acceptable place to lick
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
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My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
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I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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