i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
