i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have demons in me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
