would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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