Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
