Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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