i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize