She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
