dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
