i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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