i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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