I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
