We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
