Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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