I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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