I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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