i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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