Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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