Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
