Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
