Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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