There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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