You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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