You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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