My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This is the high leading the old right now
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
