How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
