how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
