If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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