I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
