alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
