drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
