Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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