omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I party with great urgency now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
