Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
