you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
