Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
