Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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