he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
