I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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