what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
