Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
