Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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