I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize