Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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