NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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