Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
