I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
