Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
