I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
