only if we run a train.
done.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
