Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
