Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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