I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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