You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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